If You Love Me, Why Do You Hurt Me?
How do you handle it when someone you love keeps doing things that hurt you? You’re uncertain if they’re doing this intentionally or not, but you know that it keeps happening and you’d much rather that it not. Part of you wants to leave, but you love the person so much that at the same time, you don’t want to go. What should you do when you love someone dearly and they won’t stop harming you? That has happened to me, and to be quite honest, I think that might vary by circumstance, but it all boils down to the same answer.
My mother used to tell me that, “Hurting people hurt other people.” And I think I understand this idea more now than I did back then. I used to think, “Yeah, sure, I get that, but why do they have to hurt me?” Recently I learned the answer; the people that are hurting you may not realize it, and even if they do, they don’t truly know any other way to handle what is hurting them. Think of it this way: have you ever seen an injured animal? And the more someone tries to help it, the more the animal lashes out. It’ll scratch, bite, kick, etc., just because it’s in pain. It’s like that.
As the person who is being hurt by the individual who is in pain (even if they are unaware of it), you have to forgive them for it and love them anyway. If you cannot handle them lashing out, then you have to be the bigger person, and remove yourself from the situation. It’s easier said than done, as many things are, but it’s possible–I’ve done it before.