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Leaving Apathy

February 9, 2012

Greetings blogosphere! I know I’ve been neglecting my weekly postings, but there’s a perfectly feasible reason for that; I haven’t had much to say. I like to use my blog as an outlet for the things I learn and observe in life, as well as sharing small anecdotes along the way. I can’t exactly say blog-worthy things are happening as much as they used to, but as of recently I’ve had a series of epiphanies and as the writer that I am, I’ve nothing to do except share it with you, my lovely readers.

The past two weeks have been a combination of emotional strain and thoughtless expression. To be quite frank, I’ve been speaking less and feeling more; introverted, if you will. Life seemed to have turned sour in more ways than I could count and I felt like I just wanted it all to end. I won’t go into the lengthy details of everything that has occurred, but I will say that I believe the universe is trying to teach me multiple lessons and only now am I seeing that.

For this week’s bit of my consciousness, I’ll share with you something that I’m sure on some level I already knew, but must have forgotten somewhere along the way. I realized that had been allowing bad memories to hinder things that I really would love to do. In some way, I was living in the past–replaying all of the horrible things that I’ve experienced and let me tell you now, there have been quite a few things.

Imagine yourself smaller–the size of an insect to be precise–and you’ve been living in a sealed jar for a very long time. You know the jar is sealed because you can see the lid above and in the past, every time you figured out a way to attempt an escape, you smashed into the lid. Naturally, you’ve given up the hope of escaping the jar and now you sit at the bottom, living your life insect-sized. You don’t even look up to the lid or think of escape tactics anymore.

Without your knowledge someone removed the lid of the jar but never told you that you had the freedom to escape whenever you wished to. Would you notice the lid wasn’t on the jar? And if you did would you try to escape, or just continue living in the jar where you’re comfortable?

To explain the above analogy, for a few years I seem to have been living the jar, so to speak, where I had grown comfortable–even though the lid was gone. It’s funny because I used to be the kind of person who would try and try and try to go forward and do more, but it seems that I grew apathetic due to not wanting to fight for something that I couldn’t yet accomplish. Needless to say, I’ll be moving out of my comfort zone…again.

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